The Middle Way

In recent months there has been a welcome upsurge of women publicizing the ways men they reported to or sought work from abused them, through inappropriate sexual advances, sexual harassment, and sexual assault.Men behaving terribly, and their corporate and cultural environments protecting them for so long. Given this time of openness and refusal to just go along with it, we hope things about men in power can change.

My dad was different, almost diametrically opposite. In his work life, 35 + years at North American Rockwell, his policy was not to travel or be alone with a woman. I don't mean like meeting in a office or walking down the hall, I mean traveling in a car or doing lunch kind of alone.  He said he'd seen it lead to trouble, and he just kept the opportunity for inappropriate association or interaction out of his life the best way he knew how. 

As an example of how he held to this, he was in a car pool with a couple other people. But when the other man in the group moved, rather than continue in the car pool with just the woman, he ended the pool and drove alone every day.

This worked for him, and likely didn't come up often, as the aerospace work environment in the 50's through 70's was made up mostly of men.

Today men and women work together much more frequently. In addition, having a policy today of not being alone with a woman may hamper professional development for them, as they are restricted in professional socialization and mentoring/networking opportunities.

So is there a middle way that avoids the problems of the first or second ways? I think so. Would it be hard for a man or woman in a position of power to do the following:

• Keep repeating this statement, as a reminder of how power goes off the rails: We have learned by sad experience that it is the nature and disposition of almost all men, as soon as they get a little authority, as they suppose, they will immediately begin to exercise unrighteous dominion.
• Stop talking about sex to co-workers. Your practices, your attributes, your interests. Just stop.
• Consider the men and women around you as work partners, not sexual prey.

Perhaps I'm just naive. I have never been strong at one on one networking or professional socialization. I have not really been in positions of power. Perhaps evolutionary and power dynamics make my suggestions a pipe dream. What do you think?

Richard and Mary Steele in Nauvoo, 1845-46

My third great grandparents, Richard and Mary Ann Reese Steele, were converted to the LDS church in England, and met and married in July 1845 in Nauvoo, Illinois. Here is an excerpt from Richard's journal, from the the time they married till they were driven from Nauvoo in September 1846.

“I was married on the 13th of July 1845 to Mary Ann Reese.

Sept 8 I paid 58 dol in ware for tithing from the 16 to the 22.

We were mustered in order to be ready to march to any part of

the country.  On the 21st I went to Warsaw with

about 200 more but the mobbers were all gone over the river.

The disturbance lasted about three weeks. 

Conference was held on the 6 of October in the temple and

continued 3 days. It was moved and seconded that we move

in a body to some part where we can live in peace out of the

boundaries of the United States.  And the rich expend all their

means to help the poor.  Carried….

Nauvoo Temple

Jan 31 I received my endowments in the temple. I was working on the temple from Oct 22nd 1845 till April 26, 1846. The temple was dedicated on Thursday 30 of April.  I had a son born on the 27 of April about half past eleven o’clock in the morning.  His name is Thomas Grafton Steele.  I settled up with the trustees.  I had 33 dol and 20 cents  at fifty cents on the dollar, for we agreed to take 50 cents in cash when we settled up. 

On the 12 of June we were called out to muster for

the mob was collected again at Goldens Point with the intent of driving us from Nauvoo, for most of the Saints were gone with the first camp and to work in other places.  And a few poor were left that could not get away and some that were waiting to sell their property.  On the 14 we mustered with the intention of going to Goldens Point but the mob was dispersed. 

On Fri July 10 some of our brethren were wipt by some of the mob for

eating some wheat belonging to Amos Davis.  They had had

20 lashes each.  On Sat 11 our brethren got writs and arrested

Brattle and another and brought them to Nauvoo.  On Sun 12

P.  Young, his son, Valentine, James Standing and another

were taken by the mob as they were coming from the mill with a team. 

On the same even a posse was called out and went to Pontoosuc and

arrested 15 and were near where our brethren were confined.  They

found some of our brethren’s things and brought them to Nauvoo on

Monday,  F.  Higbee was one of the 15.  Our brethren went in

search of Young and the others but could not find them.  The

mob were tried and sent to Quincy.  Our brethren came home

on Sunday 26th of July having been dragged from place to

place and they were near having been shot several times.

Aug 6 I was taken with a bilious fever and then the ague [malaria].  I was sick about nine weeks.  On the 10 and 11 of Sep the mob and our

brethren were firing at each other with a cannon.  And on the

12 the mob were determined to come in the city and they near

the breastworks of our people and the small arms were used

and the mob was driven back with great loss.  There was 8

killed on our side -- Br Anderson, his boy and a blacksmith.  On

Sunday 13th the mob was burying their dead.  On the 14--15 and 16

they fired a few cannon at each other. 

Battle of Nauvoo, by CCA Christensen, painted about 1878

Br Babbitt made a treaty with them. We was to lay down our arms and

leave the city in 10 days.  The mob was to come in the city at 3 o’clock the next day. On the 17th they came into the city -- about 1500 of them and we could not muster more than 200.  They marched about and took possession of the temple. 

On the 18th I moved down to the river with a one horse wagon and had my gun took away by the mob and no horses and moved over the river on the 21st. [Their daughter Sarah later wrote, "When [Thomas] was only five months old they were driven out of Nauvoo by the mob. Grandfather was not well, so it fell to grandmother's lot to gather their belongings together, put them in a cart, and pull them down to the river, so they could be taken across on the ferry. As she was pulling her load some of the mob called to her

saying that she made a good horse."]

Parley Street in Nauvoo, looking west across the Mississippi

On the 24th we left and went to Farmington and Bonaparte till the 31st of Oct.  Then I commenced to work a little potting [pottery making] but did not make much. “

Bonaparte, Farmington, and Nauvoo

My ancestors and polygamy

My ancestors and polygamy

I have 26 ancestor couples who were married and Mormon during the polygamous era of Mormonism, roughly 1840-1890. 20 of the couples were monogamous; 6 were polygamous, though not all inside the specific marriage of my ancestors. While none of the 26 couples’ lives were without difficulties in pioneer Utah and Idaho, it’s noteworthy that none of the 20 separated or divorced, while half of the 6 did. Here is a very brief summary of the 6.

Alvah (1799-1890) and Phoebe Houston Alexander (1804-1861) were married in 1822, joined the church in Vermont, and ended up settling Mill Creek, Utah. They entered polygamy in 1857 when Alvah married a widow, Caroline Limpert (born 1821). After Phoebe’s death, Alvah married two additional widows: Sarah Brentlinger (born 1807) in 1862 and Cathrina Nilsson (born 1835) in 1866.

William (1825-1905)and Ellen Close Butler (1839-1872) were married in 1857. She was his third wife. William (from Ireland) had joined the church in Salt Lake City, Ellen in England. They settled in Marriott, Utah. About 1868, Ellen separated from William. In 1869, she was severely wounded by a worker on the transcontinental railroad. William came to her aid. After her recovery, they lived amicably together until her death in 1872.

Simmons P.  (1818-1880) and Emmeline Buchanan Curtis (1820-1899) married in 1840, had joined the church with their parents in the US, and settled Springville, Utah. Simmons entered a polygamous marriage with a woman named Elizabeth that ended in divorce in 1861. In 1870 he married  Asenath Lawrence (born 1840). Emmeline and Simmons separated in 1873. She eventually moved to live with a son in Woodside, Utah.

Jeremiah (1823-1903) and Louisa Poole Alexander Hatch (1825-1869) married in 1842, had joined the church in Vermont, and settled several places in Utah. After Louisa’s death, Jeremiah married two women,  Aurilla Hadlock (born 1852) in 1870, and Henrietta Clark (born 1862) in 1877. They settled Vernal, Utah.

Robert (1825-1891) and Mary Ross Henderson (1823-1896) were married in Scotland in 1846. They joined the church in 1848, and settled in Logan, Utah. Robert married a widow, Christina Andersen (born 1830) in 1863. According to family history, Brigham Young asked Robert to marry Christina. She then lived near Robert and Mary in Logan, and is buried next to them.

William Marks (1828-1897) and Martha Jane Curtis Miles (1841-1904) married in 1859. She had earlier entered a polygamous marriage in the spring of 1857 with Cornelius van Leuven (1805), but had left it after a few weeks, and a divorce was granted in October 1858. William had been married to Orpha Alexander, who died in 1858. William and Martha eventually settled Orangeville, Utah and had nine children.

Note: Several of these people are closely related.

·      Alvah and Phoebe Alexander are Louisa Poole’s parents.

·      Simmons and Emmeline Curtis are Martha Jane’s parents.

·      William Miles’ first wife Orpha was also a daughter of Alvah and Phoebe.

Mark Steele

August 2014